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| by and unknown pastor via Tyriel in GroupMe |
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
It's not the load that weighs you down, its how you carry it
Auntie Lena be knowing...
Take a minute and read this Her Agenda post about healing through life's painful moments.
Don't worry men... It applies to you too!
Take a minute and read this Her Agenda post about healing through life's painful moments.
Don't worry men... It applies to you too!
Dont let the filter get you fucked up...
Here is your random lesson on disappointment…
IG is the devil.
These past few months, I been in a weird space. Happy for the most part but I been feeling really blah/ugly.
PSA - Save the "girllllll you so fine” “What? You crazy?” “Love yourself” STFU SIO”. We all have moments of self-consciousness and insecurity. Its what you do about it and handle it that is truly the testament for who you are and how far it goes. I remind myself everyday I’m magic and fuck who don’t agree. Its just some days I don’t listen as much as others.
Anywho, I think with the lack of time for the gym (this is where I tell my trainer to please stop side eyeing me), because of my crazy work schedule, I just been off. So instead of making more time for the proven solutions, I decided to go blonde. Lmao. Keep your judgement. I embarked on this blond balayage dream journey. My hair dresser Gabrielle Corney has been amazing. She didn't lie to me and told me exactly what I needed to do and that it wouldn’t be easy removing the black from my ends (because I can’t just leave my hair alone) and preserving my curls. But it could be done. I went a fire red, and then a golden blonde (it still wasn’t right but we need time before sessions to make sure I wasn’t bald and that black color was stubborn baybeee). After this last session I thought I was Beyonce and straighten my hair and retouched it a few times with the flat iron….
*It was then she knew she had fucked up*
IG is the devil.
These past few months, I been in a weird space. Happy for the most part but I been feeling really blah/ugly.
PSA - Save the "girllllll you so fine” “What? You crazy?” “Love yourself” STFU SIO”. We all have moments of self-consciousness and insecurity. Its what you do about it and handle it that is truly the testament for who you are and how far it goes. I remind myself everyday I’m magic and fuck who don’t agree. Its just some days I don’t listen as much as others.
Anywho, I think with the lack of time for the gym (this is where I tell my trainer to please stop side eyeing me), because of my crazy work schedule, I just been off. So instead of making more time for the proven solutions, I decided to go blonde. Lmao. Keep your judgement. I embarked on this blond balayage dream journey. My hair dresser Gabrielle Corney has been amazing. She didn't lie to me and told me exactly what I needed to do and that it wouldn’t be easy removing the black from my ends (because I can’t just leave my hair alone) and preserving my curls. But it could be done. I went a fire red, and then a golden blonde (it still wasn’t right but we need time before sessions to make sure I wasn’t bald and that black color was stubborn baybeee). After this last session I thought I was Beyonce and straighten my hair and retouched it a few times with the flat iron….
*It was then she knew she had fucked up*
(Guys if I’m losing you, I’m about to bring it back to the point).
I had some heat damage on my curls. I was tight. I am definitely an instant gratification person and I was already way past my patience level. Plus, this color was supposed to make me feel more beautiful and here I was feeling defeated. But I promised myself a more patient. I trucked on. Waited and MOST of my curls came back. I love my hair long but I ain’t in the game of holding on to things that are not repairable *coughanymorecough*.
Now pay attention because this is where everything hit home.
My best friend and me have been lusting over the cuts of a popular hair stylist on IG (I won't name her because from what I know, she is VERY talented). We were hype as hell to get these appointments and get these curls cut and shut the damn game down. Went together to get “our lives changed”. I sat in her chair all excited, show her what I am looking for, explain in detail cause I am very knowledgeable about my own hair, and wait for the magic to happen.
The way she hacked at my hair I felt like I was in a cartoon.
I watched her cut my curls with no rhyme or reason. Just go in like Edward Scissorhands.
Now I’m panicking…
But I am being patient and saying to myself I’m being dramatic. Immediately I hate it, Saturday and Sunday it's in a puff so I tolerate it… and then Monday I wash it…
And then I realized I had a mullet.
I was about to go back to Caesar Sio. I had had it. I was done. In the midst of all the the other crazy shit I had going on in my life, my hair was a mess and it was the last m*f*ing straw. I had my last color session with Gabby and I was over it. Ready to tell her taper it with the color and ill figure it out later. She even tried to convince me it wasn’t that bad under she tuned got to the back of my blow dried hair and said “Ohhh” Lol.
She refused to cut it and forced on me the patience I swore I lost. She colored my hair beautifully, and we made a plan to get my life back together.
Ok. Story done. So, what’s the lesson here? That disappointment is inevitable in life, especially when we chose a road that isn’t the exact right one. Short cuts are just faster ways to get to the wrong destination. Now my hair isn’t perfect, but I’m going to be patient and not do something rash that will turn my “not the best decision” into “bitch you played yourself”. No one is making ALL the right decisions, but it's how we handle disappointment of those losses that helps us to make the right ones when split decisions come again. Some of my most impactful and appreciated lessons were hidden in the depths of the most devastating disappointments. It’s so much easier said than done… but we all need the reminder right?
The real lesson though: Everything looks better on the IG honeys, including hair.
I had some heat damage on my curls. I was tight. I am definitely an instant gratification person and I was already way past my patience level. Plus, this color was supposed to make me feel more beautiful and here I was feeling defeated. But I promised myself a more patient. I trucked on. Waited and MOST of my curls came back. I love my hair long but I ain’t in the game of holding on to things that are not repairable *coughanymorecough*.
Now pay attention because this is where everything hit home.
My best friend and me have been lusting over the cuts of a popular hair stylist on IG (I won't name her because from what I know, she is VERY talented). We were hype as hell to get these appointments and get these curls cut and shut the damn game down. Went together to get “our lives changed”. I sat in her chair all excited, show her what I am looking for, explain in detail cause I am very knowledgeable about my own hair, and wait for the magic to happen.
The way she hacked at my hair I felt like I was in a cartoon.
I watched her cut my curls with no rhyme or reason. Just go in like Edward Scissorhands.
Now I’m panicking…
But I am being patient and saying to myself I’m being dramatic. Immediately I hate it, Saturday and Sunday it's in a puff so I tolerate it… and then Monday I wash it…
And then I realized I had a mullet.
I was about to go back to Caesar Sio. I had had it. I was done. In the midst of all the the other crazy shit I had going on in my life, my hair was a mess and it was the last m*f*ing straw. I had my last color session with Gabby and I was over it. Ready to tell her taper it with the color and ill figure it out later. She even tried to convince me it wasn’t that bad under she tuned got to the back of my blow dried hair and said “Ohhh” Lol.
She refused to cut it and forced on me the patience I swore I lost. She colored my hair beautifully, and we made a plan to get my life back together.
Ok. Story done. So, what’s the lesson here? That disappointment is inevitable in life, especially when we chose a road that isn’t the exact right one. Short cuts are just faster ways to get to the wrong destination. Now my hair isn’t perfect, but I’m going to be patient and not do something rash that will turn my “not the best decision” into “bitch you played yourself”. No one is making ALL the right decisions, but it's how we handle disappointment of those losses that helps us to make the right ones when split decisions come again. Some of my most impactful and appreciated lessons were hidden in the depths of the most devastating disappointments. It’s so much easier said than done… but we all need the reminder right?
The real lesson though: Everything looks better on the IG honeys, including hair.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
One of my favorite books to read in 2017 was Luvvie Ajayi's I'm Judging You. Then, to meet her at TED2017 and realize she is in fact judging people, (she is a Capricorn woman, the day before me, so I am not shocked and understand and appreciate her judgemental ways), she gained my full support.
Fast foward to her having an amazing year (via what I saw on IG land) and one of the tours she was working with ended up at TEDWomen 2017. Our convo went from:
Me: hey are you coming to TEDWomen?
Luvvie: No. I'm hosting something else so I can't make it.
to..
Luvvie: Hey I think I'm coming to TEDWomen.
That was code for her humbly letting me know she was OPENING the whole damn conference.
(I obviously knew already).
Her talk, Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, definitely in my top 5 of the conference and will definitely be on my list of goto's on my favorites playlist.
Enjoy the reminder (and her sarcasm... cause Capricorn)
Fast foward to her having an amazing year (via what I saw on IG land) and one of the tours she was working with ended up at TEDWomen 2017. Our convo went from:
Me: hey are you coming to TEDWomen?
Luvvie: No. I'm hosting something else so I can't make it.
to..
Luvvie: Hey I think I'm coming to TEDWomen.
That was code for her humbly letting me know she was OPENING the whole damn conference.
(I obviously knew already).
Her talk, Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, definitely in my top 5 of the conference and will definitely be on my list of goto's on my favorites playlist.
Enjoy the reminder (and her sarcasm... cause Capricorn)
Black men, I love yall but damn...
Back inna di day, I had a little blog called Random Epiphanys (I know, I'm not the best at naming things), and in 2011 when For Colored Girls movie came out, every black woman was feeling empowered and strong...
But back on the testosterone ranch, they were in a tizzy hunaaaaay.
I was so confused. Like, we couldn't have a bloodclot minute? I angrily wrote For Colored Guys because I just did NOT get it.
Fast forward to good ole 2017. Where blacks people are getting shot down like a carnival game, women are finally coming out about sexual assault and everyone is shocked (but women), and in the midst of all the negativity, black women are having a revolution. We are seeing our worth and shining in it. We are sprinkling our Black Girl Magic for all to see are trying to use it to counteract this shit show of a year we are living in. Last night, they came out like a bunch of Deltas who just crossed strolling to get on my level (I'm assuming that still their hype song and we didn't leave that in 2006), and voted in Alabama to BARELY keep a pedophile from winning the senate race.
5 minutes into the celebration... Black men held up there index finger like *wait a minute girl* we held it down too. Reminded us that they were there too and why should we get all the credit.
"The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman." - Malcolm X
We deal with it from all sides, but it's a special type of hurt when our own men dont celebrate us. Don't bask in our power. Don't celebrate our wins in unison with us. If the lack of respect from other races is the knife in our heart, from our own men, it is the twist to seal the deal.
I wish our men realized how gut wrenching it is for our look of pride to be met with gazes of disdain, threats, and intimidation. It's to the point where the times we find love and validation in a gaze is from our own women (or mirror but that's a different covno)
I never understood why we are so quick to downplay someone else to make sure our shine is seen. If this was a once off occurrence I'd be annoyed but shocked. However, at this point I'm anticipatory and disgusted.
The rant on my soul can never be summed up into a post. I dont even know if they allow that many characters. But what can put into words is this request..
There is so little love, appreciation, and respect for the black woman, that I pray black men will always be our advocates and never our adversaries.
But back on the testosterone ranch, they were in a tizzy hunaaaaay.
I was so confused. Like, we couldn't have a bloodclot minute? I angrily wrote For Colored Guys because I just did NOT get it.
Fast forward to good ole 2017. Where blacks people are getting shot down like a carnival game, women are finally coming out about sexual assault and everyone is shocked (but women), and in the midst of all the negativity, black women are having a revolution. We are seeing our worth and shining in it. We are sprinkling our Black Girl Magic for all to see are trying to use it to counteract this shit show of a year we are living in. Last night, they came out like a bunch of Deltas who just crossed strolling to get on my level (I'm assuming that still their hype song and we didn't leave that in 2006), and voted in Alabama to BARELY keep a pedophile from winning the senate race.
5 minutes into the celebration... Black men held up there index finger like *wait a minute girl* we held it down too. Reminded us that they were there too and why should we get all the credit.
"The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman." - Malcolm X
We deal with it from all sides, but it's a special type of hurt when our own men dont celebrate us. Don't bask in our power. Don't celebrate our wins in unison with us. If the lack of respect from other races is the knife in our heart, from our own men, it is the twist to seal the deal.
I wish our men realized how gut wrenching it is for our look of pride to be met with gazes of disdain, threats, and intimidation. It's to the point where the times we find love and validation in a gaze is from our own women (
I never understood why we are so quick to downplay someone else to make sure our shine is seen. If this was a once off occurrence I'd be annoyed but shocked. However, at this point I'm anticipatory and disgusted.
The rant on my soul can never be summed up into a post. I dont even know if they allow that many characters. But what can put into words is this request..
There is so little love, appreciation, and respect for the black woman, that I pray black men will always be our advocates and never our adversaries.
Hey Fran, Hey
Most of y'all know one of my favorite hippies in the game is Hey Fran hey. She is one of the most beautiful spirits I've met in this life. When getting more in tune with natural remedies and my spiritual side, she was my original main resource. She shared in this article some tips for self-care in 2017, but somethings are OK to take with us into the new year.