Quickie

I hope y'all had an amazing weekend and are ready for the week. I hope that Drake's new album didn't get y'all riled up. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing. Between "U with me?" and this rain, I was in my feelings deeper than them wells kids always was falling into back in the day.

Since I turned 30 (actually a little before), the dynamic of a lot of my relationships with people, including myself, has changed. It's ongoingly one of the hardest things I've had to handle in my life. If I love you, it's forever. I don't think I have ever unloved someone. But, to reference a song on Sisqo's first solo album (I still listen to that album FYI), is love enough? For me, I learned the answer is a hard to admit NO. I kinda took that lesson to that extreme though.

Back in the day (read- like last week), I wouldn't have hesitated to press that block button. My block list still looks like the MET Gala guest list. However, as I get older. I realize that taking that easy way out usually hurts me more than providing solace. Not saying hello in public. Unable to text the person when they run on your mind. Good memories turn into sour thoughts. Innocent bystanders aka mutual friends caught in the awkward crossfire. Wondering if something is wrong with you or if you're not worth "it" (whateva it is). You miss the person so much, when the communication lines do open up, nostalgia provides a rose colored filter that covers up the original problem. Then eventually, we back to blocked. Note- This is NOT just with exs. My female soulmate said once "Friends have broken my heart more than any ex has".  So, now the trick is either have to figure out how to repair this relationships effectively, or move on gracefully.

Just a quick note.