Randomly, I was thinking as I was on
my flight from San Francisco last week about a time I had a anxiety
attack in an airport and had to have my friends Tiffany and Tassika talk
me down via group chat...
I
didn't fly by myself until I was 26. (26 was actually one of the
biggest learning years of my life. FYI). I had of course flown many
places, but I had never been on a flight without someone I knew. I had a
flight to ATL for a group trip for a friend's birthday, and I was
booked with my homegirl. But after the year I had (it was only February -
but trust me A LOT happened in January 2011), I called Delta and
switched my flight to go into Orlando and see my sister who I hadn't
seen in almost a year since she moved, and then arrive in ATL a few days
earlier than planned (mind your business). It wasn't until I was
sitting in Tassika's kitchen, phone still in my hand after the customer
service rep already disconnected, her daughter asking me to make her a
sandwich (that I realize now I never made), that reality hit I had never
flown by myself. I had to keep it cool because I had just paid money to
change my ticket so I couldn't do anything now. I wasn't (and still
ain't) rich. *
However,
seeing my sister and overcoming my fears was so worth it. Everything
about that trip was great and I got back home feeling unstoppable. It
was the one of the biggest catalyst that has shaped the jawn writing
this email. I eventually even took a job where I flew all the time
alone. I probably would have been reluctant if I never pulled the
trigger on that trip. Now I actually prefer to fly alone. I got a rhythm
lol.
Every
time some scary ish threaten to hold me back, I think of the whole year
of 2011 (when I was 26) and realize... if I can get through that... I
can get through anything. But, is a little fear bad? Fear really is one
of the sneakiest mother f*ckers around. It can shape shift into
anything like an animorph. People who are cold hearted are usually
scared to be vulnerable. People who are always in relationships are
usually scared of being alone. People who are workaholics usually have a
fear of being broke. People who are complacent usually have a fear of
rejection. Etc...(These are obviously generalizations, but I'm trying to
make a point so move). However, as my jawn Tracy G. put into
perspective, fear is kinda necessary. We can't get rid of it. So once we
accept it and face it head on, that's when we really move forward. Use
fear to drive you, not drown you.
"I
learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over
it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who
conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandela
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